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Topic Anger! 

Question

To Sam 

28/11/11 5.54pm 

Anger! 

Hi, i want to know what to do when i get angry. I'm quite joyful and funny but i can get very angry sometimes. I happens at school the most when a girl is rude to be or my friends and hurts our feelings. My high school is all girls and it can be hard. Everyone in my class have been relaying on my from the beginning to defend them from others. They dont have the guts to stand up to bullys so they count on me to do it for them. Its because i have the guts and aint scared of NOBODY! Its hard sometimesso i burst out and them or even the bullys. I dont need therpy or anything just ways to help me calm down. I'm not usually like that but i just get stressed like everyone else. Please give me tips on how to DE- STRESS!!!!! Thank you!!!!!

Sam's answer

Sam 

8/12/11 10.59am 

Hi there and thanks for your message.

You have done the right thing by looking for advice on this. From what you have said it sounds like you feel angry when people annoy or upset you or your friends which is understandable. No one has the right to bully you or your friends. It sounds like you have taken on the role of protecting your friends which is a big responsibility for you and it seems like you realise this has led you to feel stressed. 

It’s good that you are being a friend but for the bullying to stop it may help for you to encourage your friends to speak to someone they trust in your school like a favourite teacher or head of year.  Your school should have an anti-bullying policy which means they should take action when they know that a pupil is being bullied.  Sometimes just being there as a friend and encouraging that person to talk can be enough to build their confidence to talk to a teacher.  You could even encourage your friends to talk to Childline and we can speak to them about their options to get more support.   

You have talked about needing tips to de-stress. Different things will work for different people so it’s important to try a range of things to find out which one works for you. Some young people tell ChildLine that slowly counting to 10 works when they feel themselves getting angry.  If someone has annoyed you and you feel like you are going to 'burst out' then walk away and think of things that you enjoy doing like listening to music and sing along, read a book or write down how you feel in that moment on a bit of paper and then rip it up into little pieces. 

Try not to keep how you are feeling bottled up as this can make you feel worse. You have done really well explaining to me how you feel so perhaps think about speaking to someone in your life like a parent/carer, another family member or even a teacher as they may be able to give you some more support and advice. 

Remember Childline counsellors are here if you would like to talk some more about this or check out the message boards for tips from other young people about staying calm or supporting friends. I hope this helps.

Take care,

Sam

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