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Topic My brother 

Question

To Sam 

25/01/2011 10:45pm 

My brother 

Hi

I have an older brother who is 28 and I haven't seen him for two years because of a family argument and I really miss him he looked after me better than my parents and he did lots of fun stuff with me and I felt safe and prtotected by himhe was like a parent to me. I don't feel safe now he has gone my dad has been aggressive towards me and above all of that I have been having some other problems to do with depression and being sent to hospital for being too underweight. I have self harmed lots and my arm feels really achy I know its my own fault. I have lots of people around me who care about me but I feel so alone and I don't like it and I don't understand why I feel alone. I don't think I can cope with all of this much longer I want to be dead and have started making a plan I want everything to go away to pain and hurt and being scared and he things I hear in my head and how I talk to myself I really think i'm actually mental. If you don't like other people you can get away from them but if you don't like yourself then your stuck as you can't run away and that's my problem. I'm petrified about leaving school to go to sixth form and I don't think I have the strength to do it and I feel so alone so I feel like I'm doing it alone and there is no one to help me through it. I know this is all stupid but although I know people care and worry about me I dont feel like people care. I just want someone to care and listen to me. I want to feel loved and wanted.

Sam's answer

Sam 

 03/02/2011 8:00pm 

Hello

Thank you for taking the time to write to me and for being so honest about how hard things are for you right now. At Childline, we know a lot of young people wonder if what they’re telling us will seem a bit stupid or that we’ll think they are a bit "mental".   In fact, we don’t think that at all.

To not have had your older brother around for the last two years sounds really difficult. It’s clear you were close and that you felt safe with him. Also, I know there often are complicated reasons why a young person can feel depressed, not want to eat, self harm and think about being dead. It sounds like right now you are overwhelmed by feelings (including pain and hurt), some of which may be too hard to put into words. Sometimes how we think of ourselves and talk to ourselves in our head can make us feel quite desperate. But none of this means that it’s your fault.

If this letter gets just one point across, I hope it is that ChildLine cares about you and doesn’t want you to feel so alone with your feelings. Our counsellors regularly talk to young people who are feeling depressed, self harming and having eating issues. We take everything said to us seriously, never judge the person we’re talking to and offer as much support as we can. 

If you could contact us, you could get much more support from us than this letter can give. If you feel able to talk, you could call for free on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night. If you don’t feel able to talk and prefer to get to know us online, you can use our website to go online for a chat (messaging) with a counsellor. Remember, what you tell us is confidential – meaning that we don’t tell anyone what you say and we don’t take action unless we think you or someone you know is in immediate danger.

Also, I hope you’ve seen the Message Boards on our website, where young people offer each other support about a range of complicated issues. This may help you feel less alone too.

Take care

Sam

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