Hello there
Thanks for your letter. I am sorry to read about the death of your father last year and yes experiencing the death of a parent is exceedingly distressing and stressful.
It doesn't sound as though mum was able to provide you with alot of support however you don't say whether her drinking was the result of your fathers death? and I am not sure what you mean by your comment that she suffers with enzymes?
The death of someone close can stir up and create all sorts of emotions within us that we never knew existed, it can make people feel sad, angry and behaviour in ways that can be quite confusing. Sometimes we think the best way to deal with this situation is to get away physically, it may help in the short term but the emotions will still be there.
You don't say how long mum has been drinking and you also say that she isn't very nice either when she drinks it could be that she is behaving this way to hide her pain of losing your dad ? Her emotions and anger are all being channelled into the alcohol and to you possibly?
I guess both of you need some urgent help here as clearly both of you are experiencing the emotions of grief following your fathers death. Though I don't know how old you are either you and/or mum need to access support as soon as. I doubt from what you are saying that mum will do this.
You will need to speak to someone that you feel you can trust or close to that will listen. If this is not an option open to you would you consider talking to a doctor who may access some counselling support ?
Failing this option come and talk to a ChildLine counsellor in a 1-2-1 online chat or by phone on 0800 1111 together explore how you are feeling right now and explore what options are available to you to get help.
You may want to have a look at some other support web sites that will provide advice and support these are, www.supportline.org.uk and www.rd4u.org.uk both offer support following the death of a loved one. In addition have a look at www.nacoa.org.uk this may offer some useful advice on what services can assist in the care of mum
Take care and good luck
Sam