Hi A*,
Thanks for writing to me. You’ve been really brave to tell me about how things have been for you at school. It sounds like it’s been difficult for quite some time. You said you don’t know why the boys in your class are calling you names but it’s important for you to know that no one has the right to bully you. You aren’t to blame for what other people are saying and they are the ones who are wrong to call you hurtful things.
It sounds like the boys are making life very hard for you at school. You said that they have started threatening you as well and that right now you are feeling scared and embarrassed to go back there. You have the right to feel safe and comfortable at school and you’ve shown great courage to talk to your teacher and mum about what’s been happening. You deserve to be supported through this.
From what you’ve said, the way these boys are treating you is very painful and frustrating. You said that you ended up losing your temper when they were bullying you during drama the other day. Bullies may try and keep control over the situation if they feel like they are being challenged, by making threats like they did in drama. That way, they can keep on saying the things they do and keep on hurting you. It sounds like what happened made you feel very alone so I’m glad you’ve decided to write in about it.
Although it is very understandable that you feel so angry with the bullies, I would be worried that if you lose your temper in school regularly, it could get you into trouble or make things more difficult for you. You said that you have tried to ignore the boys but it didn’t work. It’s really brave of you to have tried this.
You might like to have a look at Bullybusters and Bullying UK as both those sites give lots more ideas on how to tackle bullying. Some young people also find writing a bullying journal can be useful. It’s a way to express how you are feeling and means you can keep a record of what happens at school. If you do speak with your teacher again you can use this as evidence about the bullying and how it’s affecting you.
It can be hard to find the words to tell others what is happening sometimes and you’ve done well to talk to your teacher and mum already. You don’t have to go through this alone and I wonder what it would be like if your mum did contact the school? Perhaps if you thought about what you would like your mum to say, what would be helpful and what wouldn’t be helpful, then you could talk to your mum about what it would be helpful for her to say. Maybe you could also explain to your mum what you are worried might happen so that she can understand your concerns. Writing your mum or teacher a letter can also be a good way of explaining what’s going on and how it's making you feel.
It can sometimes take a while for it to feel like things are changing after telling someone about bullying but it’s really important that your voice is heard. I can hear that you are worried about mum calling school, so you might find it helpful to talk this all through with a Childline counsellor before you make any decisions.
You mentioned that after drama the other day you were on your way to your friend’s class. It’s good to hear that you’ve got friends you can turn to when things are difficult. Sometimes it can help to spend more time with friends and people you trust when the bullies are making you feel so upset. Other people find that spending time doing hobbies or activities they enjoy can help them feel better.
You can also talk to a ChildLine counsellor at any time about what’s been happening. You can call us on 0800 1111 (it’s free, even from a mobile), use 1-2-1 chat online or send them an email. You could also have a look at the ChildLine bullying message board where young people going through similar things can support each other.
Take care,
Sam