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Ask Sam

Topic Bullying 

Question

To Sam 

11/07/2013 17:10 

Bullying 

Hello Sam I have bullied someone and I regret of what I did can you give me a tip of how I can make them feel happy
Sam's answer

Sam 

11/07/2013 17:18 

Hi there,

It is really great that you’ve realised that you’ve been bullying someone and that you regret it. It takes a lot of courage to own up to doing something wrong, so well done for that.

It’s not clear from your letter what you did or what effect it had on the other person. Maybe you could start by saying “sorry” and letting them know that you realise it was not the right way to behave. 

If you think that the person wouldn’t want to talk to you, you could write a letter or ask someone else to say sorry for you. You might want to tell them that you’d like to make up for what you did. Perhaps you could ask if there’s anything that you could do to help them?

It might be that the person you bullied doesn’t want to forgive you yet. If that does happen, it could be upsetting, but at least you will know you tried to say sorry. The important thing is to learn from the experience and from your feeling of regret and make sure that you don’t end up being a bully again. You’ve taken a bit step towards changing your behaviour by realising that that you were being a bully in the first place.

It may be useful to think about the reason that you did what you did – how were you feeling at the time? Did you feel that there were things going on in your life that you needed some support with? If so, and especially if you still feel that way, please feel free to come and talk to one of our counsellors – you can call 0800 1111 or log on for an online chat to discuss any worries you might have or talk about this issue in more detail. You might also want to read part of the Bullying page that says “I am a bully, what can I do?”

Well done again for being strong enough to admit to what you have done and talk about how you it made you feel!

Good luck,

Sam.

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