Hi there
You say that you have never done this before and I think that probably means that you haven’t contacted us before? I just want to reassure you that you have taken a very important step in deciding to talk about what’s worrying you and I pleased that you did.
It seems that the situation at school is upsetting you to the point where you are thinking about suicide and I want to say that I feel quite worried about you. It must be very difficult for you to live with this feeling inside and you have mentioned that you also cut yourself to try to cope with things.
Thinking about taking your own life may seem like the only way out at times, but there is always another way and other things that can be done so that you don’t feel so alone with this. I know that you say that you haven’t contacted Childline before, but please just pick up the phone and call one of our counsellors on 0800 1111 before you think of doing anything to end your life, because what is worrying you is important to us here.. You could also aheva 1-2-1 online chat with a counsellor.
You mentioned that you are having counselling at the moment but this is making things feel worse for you. I wonder if you have been able to say that to your counsellor because maybe they don’t know? Sometimes, when we start to talk about our problems it is like reliving them all over again and this is what makes it seem worse. Maybe you would find it helpful to make a plan about what you would like to talk about before you go to counselling? You could draw a line with 0 at one end and 10 at the other end with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and so on in between. You could then mark on it a score to show how upset you are feeling before you go the counselling, and maybe show this to the counselor, and then mark how you feel when you come out of the counselling. This is a good way to show the counsellor, and maybe your parents, how you are feeling if you find it hard to put things into words.
You have told me that you have been bullied throughout your primary school and that you are in year 6 now. No one has the right to bully anyone else and make them feel so bad and I want you to know that you haven’t done anything to deserve this. You haven’t mentioned if you have spoken to a teacher or anyone at school and I wonder if there is anyone you trust enough to talk to? Again, maybe writing a story or a list or even drawing a picture can help you describe what is happening. The main thing to remember is that your school has to have an anti bullying policy which means that they a set of rules that they must follow to keep children safe from bullying.
If you do decide to talk to one of our counsellors by ringing 0800 1111 or by loggin into the ChildLine website, they could help you look at other things you could do. The counsellors at Childline are very helpful and are there any time you want to talk about how you feel and what is happening to you. You could also look at the Bully busters website which has some information about bullying that might help you.
I do hope you find the courage to talk to us as you have already done so well to start that process by writing to me.
Best wishes,
Sam