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Ask Sam

Topic Bullied at school. 

Question

To Sam 

24/05/2012 17:52 

Bullied at school. 

Hi, you probably get asked about bullying all the time but I am scared to tell the teacher invade he gets away with it. The bully was the boyfriend of my best friend but then he was bullying her. She told the school and they just told him to stop but he hasn't, it has gotten worse, to the extent that I actually cried in class today. He comments on my looks, pulls my hair, threatens to get his friend to beat me up and calls my family names. I am actually dreading school tomorrow. He also bullies a lot of other girls and I just want him to leave everyone alone. Thanks for reading.
Sam's answer

Sam 

24/05/2012 17:59 

Hi there,

Thank you for your letter. It sounds like what’s happening is really upsetting you at the moment so you’ve done really well to write in to get some support.

You say that this boy has been bullying both you and your best friend and it sounds like she was really brave to talk to the teacher about it. You say that the teacher has told him to stop but that he has carried on and got worse. I can hear that this is perhaps making you feel nervous about talking to your teacher too.

No one has the right to bully you and I understand that it could be upsetting and frightening if this boy is saying unkind things about you and your family and threatening to beat you up. You shouldn’t have to put up with that or feel worried about going to school.

All schools should have something called an anti-bullying policy. This is a set of rules they should follow to try and sort things out when they hear that bullying is happening. It isn’t good enough for school to just speak to the bullies once and not do anything else about it if it still carries on.

You say that this boy bullies lots of other girls too and I’m wondering whether you’ve spoken to them about what’s happening. I’m not sure from what you’ve told me whether or not the teacher has been told that he is still bullying you. Sometimes a teacher may think that bullying has stopped once they’ve spoken to the person who was doing it, even if it hasn’t. If you’re feeling nervous about talking to your teacher yourself, it might feel more comfortable if a few of you tried to do this together. Another idea is that you could write down what’s been happening to show to your teacher, if that feels easier. You could also think about is talking to another adult in your life, who you trust, perhaps a parent or carer, who could possibly support you in trying to get it to stop.

There’s a lot more about Bullying in which you may be interested in taking a look at. You could also have a look at the Bullying message board to read about other peoples experiences and even leave a message yourself if you like.
 
If you’d like to talk it through some more, you could perhaps try speaking to a ChildLine Counsellor about how you’re feeling. There are several different ways you can do this, the quickest are by phoning on 0800 1111 (all calls are free and don’t show up on the bill) or by using the 1-2-1 chat (it works like instant messenger). 

You’ve been really brave to write to me. I hope that this has been helpful.

Take care,

Sam

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