Hello there
Thank you for your letter and it's clear you have given this a lot of thought. You are absolutely right, no one should judge you or make you feel bad for who you are, whether it's the colour of your skin or your sexuality. You are who you are and you deserve to be respected. It's very natural that seeing and hearing the way people talk about people with different sexualities can be really frustrating.
Sometimes people use words without really thinking through what they are saying, what it means and how it could affect others - that still doesn't make it ok. Sometimes people need to learn that what they say can affect other people. Your school should be playing a part in that - but more importantly they should be encouraging people to be respectful of others and be protecting you and any other young person from being bullied. Have you thought about talking to a teacher about what you are feeling at the moment? I realise that can be really tough, but it can also be a big help in the long run, even if it's just to have someone to talk to when you are feeling low.
When and whether you come out is only up to you - when you feel ready (you might still be nervous) you can make that decision then to tell people if that is what you want to do. It's ok to need to give this some thought and it's ok if you want to talk this through - ChildLine is here for you and so are other young people who use ChildLine message boards - you can check these out and discuss some of your feelings with them.
I'm sorry that your friend has been nasty to you - have you tried talking to him about how he is making you feel? If not, do you think that might be possible? I know it can be hard but it can help to have someone you trust with you so they can support you. There are trusted adults out there who can help you and who may even understand what you are going through, maybe it would be worth talking to one of them so you don't feel so lonely. A trusted adult can be a parent/carer, another relative, a teacher, a school counsellor or a school nurse, even your GP. It's ok if you need to think about talking with someone, if you do need to talk ChildLine is here for you - either on the phone or online.
Take care,
Sam