Hi there
Thank you for your letter, you did the right thing to write about this. It sounds like things at home and at school are really tough for you at the moment. It’s natural to feel like you might want things to be different in your life right now. It’s really important to talk about what is happening at home and at school because there are people who can help you. Things can change, it may take time and some help from someone you can trust, this could be a teacher or a school counsellor for example, it could even be your GP.
I hear what you are saying about this boy that you met online, you said that your family bully you, that you get bullied at school and that you have never really had a close relationship with your family. That sounds like it could be pretty lonely, and it seems like this boy has picked up on how lonely you are and that you need someone in your life to support you. While that’s true, it’s also very important to remember that people that you meet online aren’t always what they seem. I realise that this might be really hard for you to hear right now, especially because you feel he is the only one who cares about you.
I’m worried about you because you say that he is older than you, age is a number but it’s a number that represents experience and different stages in life. A person who is 14, for example, has a very different life and very different experiences than a person who is 24 or 34 or 44 – they are all different stages of life. Sometimes older people can try to find young people that are vulnerable and who feel alone and tell them all the things they want to hear so that they can get them to do what they want. In the worst cases the young people can get badly hurt and Childline really don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Again, I realise this might be really hard for you to hear, so maybe you can check out www.faceup2it.org for some more information and advice.
I don’t know if you have depression, it sounds like you are having a very natural reaction to a difficult situation. It’s natural that you would feel sad about your family treating you this way and about being bullied at school. However, if you are worried you have depression, the best person to speak to would be your doctor, they can put you in touch with a specialist who can do some tests to see what might be going on for you and what help would be best for you.
You can get help, there are people out there, like ChildLine counsellors who care for you and want the best for you, without getting anything in return except that you are safe and happy. Perhaps you can have a look at the website I metioned site and think about talking to a teacher or another trusted adult about all of this? You can also always come and talk to a ChildLine counsellor about what is going on for you. We are always here for you.
Take care,
Sam