Hi there
It sounds like things have been tough for you for a while now and I'm glad that you’ve got in touch.
Bullying can be really hard for many young people and can have a big impact on how they're feeling. It can take a lot of courage to ignore bullies especially when it happens in school as well as online. Bullying is wrong and no one has the right to treat you in this way.
It can be hard to ask for help with bullying but it is important to tell someone you trust like a teacher as they might be able to help change things. Bullying.co.uk is a good website with information on how to deal with bullying. You might also want to take a look at the bullying pages within explore.
There can be a lot of pressure on girls from the media and their friends to look and feel a certain way. Everybody comes in different shapes and sizes and those shapes and sizes will continue to change as you grow.
It can very difficult to ignore nasty comments but it it's important that you don't let them get to you and make you believe that they are right. You should never put yourself down no matter what others say. Sometimes bullies make fun of others because they themselves lack confidence and in order to try and look 'bigger' in front of their friends, they try and make others feel small.
You’ve said about how lonely you're feeling at the moment and how you feel like you’ve fallen down a hole that you can’t get out of. It can be hard having these feeling on your own. Lots of young people find it can really help talking about what’s going on for them and, if you wanted, you could get in touch with a ChildLine counsellor. You can call free on 0800 1111 or have a 1-2-1 chat online and talk over how things are and maybe think about a way forward together.
Take care
Sam