Hi there
The first thing I would like to say to you is well done for writing in and it seems that you are having a pretty tough time at the moment. It also seems that there is no where that you can feel safe and relax knowing that you are not going to be bullied. Whats happening to you is very wrong and the people doing this are also very wrong and they are not your friends. You deserve the sort of friends who look out for you and care whether or not you are happy.
School is sopposed to be a place where you can learn and have some fun, it isn't a place where you should feel unhappy and lonely. It is sad that you feel that you have always been an outcast and have never known what its like to have friends. At the moment, because people are making you feel so bad about yourself, it is hard for you to see all the good things about you that you would bring to a friendship. The way you are being treated is giving you the message that you are not worth being friends with.
Writing this letter is like a little voice inside you saying "I want this to stop, this is not fair!". Let.s try and listen to that voice and see if we can do something to change whats happening. I'm wondering what sort of support you have at home and whether or not you are sharing any of this with your mum or dad? If you feel that you can talk to them that could be a good place to start. The next thing you could do is talk to the school as they have to be responsible for your safety while you are there. It might be a teacher that you get on well with or maybe a school nurse. Telling an adult that you are not ok and need help is always a good idea.
Lots of young people are going through what you are and it can help to know you are not alone. The best help could be from other young people who have taken action and found ways to cope. Go to the Bullying message board and ask them what they've done and what was it like to talk to a teacher. You can also talk to a ChildLine counsellor, they would be really pleased to help you with this, you can phone on 0800 1111 or sign up for an account and use the online chat. I know you think you've said enough but I hope this is the start of you really talking, and getting the support you deserve.
Take care
Sam