When Someone Dies
Bereavement is the word used to describe the loss that people feel when someone close to them dies. Grief is the emotion that people go through as a result of the loss of someone they loved.
What happens when someone dies?
The loss through death of someone you care for can be deeply distressing. Death can come about as a result of an illness, such as cancer; an accident, such as a car crash; or old age.
You can also be upset about the loss of a loved animal or pet. This can hurt as much as losing a relative or friend.
How do people react to losing someone they love?
Everyone reacts to death in different ways. Some of the ways that people react include:
- Shocked or numb - maybe you can't really believe the person has died, or you can't take it in.
- Angry - sometimes at other people, sometimes at the person who has died, sometimes with the world at large
- Guilty - You might be blaming yourself in some way for what has happened. Maybe you had an argument before they died, maybe you regret something that you said or did, or there might be something you wish you had done or said. Many people feel, 'If only...'
- Scared - The world as you have known it has changed and that can feel very scary. You might also be worried about practical things like money or where you're going to live.
- Relieved - maybe if someone was very ill or was suffering. Or you might feel relieved if someone who was hurting you has died.
- Sad - feelings of sadness can be overwhelming. At times you might feel like you can't stop crying, or that you can't cry at all.
- Depressed - you might feel like life has no meaning anymore, and that you don't know how to go on.
How can I deal with losing someone?
It's perfectly natural to have strong reactions when someone you love or are close to dies. It takes time to get over the death of someone you love, but there are things you can do that might help, which include:
- Go to their funeral or memorial service and celebrate their life with other people who loved them.
- Remember the happy times you had together.
- Try to eat well and get plenty of rest.
- Do some exercise - this will help you take your mind off things.
- Talk to someone about how you feel.
- Accept your feelings. No one can tell you what you should be feeling about someone else's death.
- You can cry. It's not a sign of weakness to cry when you are sad, and it can help you feel better if you let your feelings out. You might not feel like crying so don't be worried if you don’t cry, this is also a natural reaction to death.
It can be difficult to talk about death especially if the people closest to you are also grieving. You might not want to upset them. If you can’t talk to someone you know about it, you can talk to us about how you feel.