"I feel very happy about the advice ChildLine gave me about being bullied because it's nice to know someone cares"

What is bullying?
Bullying can happen in lots of different ways – it doesn’t matter how bullying is done, it is always wrong and it can make you feel really bad. Some of the bullying that children speak to ChildLine about is:

·         being called names

·         being teased

·         being pushed or pulled about

·         having money and other things taken

·         being left out of games and groups 

·         being hit, kicked or hurt in any way

·         being told that they will be hurt if they don’t do what the bully wants

If you are being bullied you might think that it's your fault - it isn't.

What can I do if I am being bullied?
No one has the right to hurt you or make you feel bad. If you are being bullied you don't have to put up with it.
Try taking a quiet moment to talk to someone you trust and tell them about the problem. Go to someone you feel ok talking to, maybe a teacher, one of your parents or carers, or you can always speak to ChildLine.

How can ChildLine help me if I’m being bullied?
If you are being bullied or worried about a friend who is being bullied ChildLine can help.
You can:
• Send an email to a ChildLine counsellor
• Write a letter to Sam
• Call ChildLine on 0800 1111
• Speak to a counsellor online through a 1-2-1 chat

It's important to remember that abuse is never your fault. Someone might say it is, but abuse is not ok and it needs to stop.

What is abuse?
Child abuse can mean a lot of different things such as neglect, physical, emotional or sexual abuse. It's not always easy to know if you are being abused

Sexual abuse is when a child is being made to do anything with their body that frightens or worries them. It can involve touching, kissing, being made to show private parts of their body, or being made to do this to another person. Being made to look at rude films or pictures in books, magazines, on TV or the internet is also sexual abuse.

Neglect is when a parent or carer does not look after a child properly. For example, they might not give them enough food and drink, or the right kind of clothing. It can also be when a child is left on their own for too long.

Physical abuse is when an adult deliberately hurts a child's body. They might hit, kick, punch, bite or shake them. This may leave marks on the body such as cuts and bruises.

Emotional abuse is when an adult hurts a child's feelings. They might call them names, make fun of them or make a child feel bad about themselves. This hurts children on the inside. Seeing or hearing parents or carers hurting each other can also make a child feel bad. This is called domestic abuse.

If any of these kinds of abuse are happening to you, you might think that it's your fault - it isn't. No one has the right to abuse you.

ChildLine is here for you and can help you if you are being abused. You can contact us online or by phone on 0800 1111.

What is cyber bullying?
Cyber bullying is a kind of bullying that happens online or by mobile phone. If you are being bullied you can usually get away from the bullies at home. But if you are being cyber bullied you can’t get away from it. This might make you feel scared and unsafe when you are at home.

People are able to cyber bully without showing their name or email. This can make it difficult to know who is doing the bullying. If the bullying is happening online there could be lots of people who join in.

How can someone be cyber bullied?
There are lots of things that cyber bullies might do:

Email
Sending abusive or cruel emails to someone. The emails might also go to a group of people who may then join in the bullying.

Instant messaging (IM) and chatrooms
Using instant messaging and chatrooms to send nasty messages to someone and asking others to join in.

Social networking sites
Creating made up profiles for people to make fun of them.

Mobile phones
Sending nasty or abusive text, video or photo messages. Also sharing videos of someone being attacked or hurt (happy slapping or uploading videos of you without your permission).

What can I do about cyber bullying?

Online
Although cyber bullying can't physically hurt you it can still make you feel bad and can be really upsetting. No one has the right you make you feel like this.
It might seem that there is no way to make it stop. But there are things that you can do to prevent it from happening or make it stop.

• Talk to someone you trust like a parent or teacher. They can help you to sort it out. Or you can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to speak to someone who can help you.

• Don't reply to any messages you receive.

• Keep a copy of the nasty emails, texts or messages that you receive and when they were sent to you.

• Never give out any personal details on the internet. Don’t give your real name, address, age or phone number. Even telling someone which school you go to can help them find out information about you.
 
• Change your online nicknames or user ID to something different.

• Block email addresses and complain to the website.

• Report the abuse through the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP) website.

Mobile
It's quite easy for mobile phone companies to find out who is sending abusive text messages. If you are being bullied and receiving abusive or nasty messages or calls on your mobile, tell a parent, teacher or other adult you trust. They can help you put a stop to this. If it doesn't stop you need to tell the police.

• Don't reply to any nasty messages you receive.

• Keep the messages that you have been sent so you can show someone.

• Don't answer any calls that are from a withheld number, or from a number you don't know.

• Change your mobile number and only give your new number out to close friends.

How can ChildLine help me if I’m being cyber bullied?
If you are being cyber bullied or worried about a friend who is being cyber bullied ChildLine can help.
You can:
• Send an email to a ChildLine counsellor
• Write a letter to Sam
• Call ChildLine on 0800 1111
• Speak to a counsellor online through a 1-2-1 chat

Having good friends can make you feel great. Some friendships can last your whole life. But friendships go through good times and bad times. When your friends have fallen out with each other it can be really upsetting and make you sad.

Being a friend can mean different things. During a difficult time, it might mean supporting you and being there for you to talk to. In happy times, it could be someone to share all the fun times and have a laugh with. Being a good friend is making sure that you are there when your friends need you too.

Friends should:
• try to be supportive
• listen to you when you need to talk
• want to help you if they are able to
• not put you in danger

I’ve fallen out with my friend, what can I do?
Sometimes you and your friends may fall out. Everyone has rows with their friends. Usually you make up again soon. But sometimes the rows are more serious.
These can feel terrible. People who were part of your life are suddenly not there.Try talking to your friend and telling them how you feel. If you have hurt them, try to say sorry and find a way to make it better.

If your friend really doesn’t want to talk, you could ask a teacher or another adult to speak to them and explain how you feel. Sometimes they might just need some time to calm down before you can be friends again.

How can ChildLine help me if I’m having problems with my friends?
We can help if you’ve fallen out with a friend or are finding it hard to make friends.
 You can:
• Send an email to a ChildLine counsellor
• Write a letter to Sam
• Call ChildLine on 0800 1111
• Speak to a counsellor online through a 1-2-1 chat

Going back to school after the summer holidays

It can be really hard going back to school after the summer holidays. Not everyone looks forward to it. There might be lots of reasons why you might be worried about going back such as:

·         being bullied

·         finding homework difficult

·         having problems at home that make it hard to concentrate

·         worrying about exams

·         finding it hard to make friends

Whatever the reason, ChildLine is here for you and can help. You can speak to us at any time for support.

I'm worried about moving up to secondary school

The change from primary school to secondary school can be scary. You might be worried about:

·         making friends

·         finding your way around

·         schoolwork and homework

It’s natural to feel like this, even if lots of your friends are moving to the same school as you. Hopefully you will get a chance to have a look round your new school and spend a day there.

If you are able to do this, it will help you feel better about moving. The receptionists in your school’s office should be able to help you if you get lost. They can help you find your way round and also be able to help with some of the other problems you might have too.

If you are worried about anything to do with moving to secondary school, it can really help to talk to someone about how you feel. You could talk to your teacher. This could be either your primary school teacher or your new secondary school teacher. They will be able to help you feel happier about the move. You could also talk to your parents or carers about how you feel.

How can ChildLine help me if I’m having problems at school?

We can help if you’re having problems at school or are worried about moving to a new school.
You can:
• Send an email to a ChildLine counsellor
• Write a letter to Sam
• Call ChildLine on 0800 1111
• Speak to a counsellor online through a 1-2-1 chat

Children often to speak to ChildLine about their families - sometimes it can be about feeling left out or that they don't get on with them.

Each family is different. They are made up of different people, with different needs, ideas and ways of behaving. This can make a family a special group, but can also mean that getting on together is not always easy.

Children often talk to ChildLine about their families. It can be how much they enjoy their family but also can be about feeling left out or that they don’t get on with them.
It can be normal for families not to get along with each other sometimes. Every family has problems from time to time, even if they are usually happy and don't often argue.
Some of the things that might be worrying you about your family might include:

• Parents arguing with each other
• Arguments with your parents, stepparents or carers
• Arguments with your brothers or sisters
• Parents splitting up or getting divorced
• Abuse
• Problems with drugs or alcohol
• People hurting each other
• Not getting things you need, like enough food, clean clothes or being left on your own for a long time.
• Money worries
• Children being taken into care

My parents are arguing, is it my fault?
It can be very upsetting if your parents are arguing. It’s important to remember that it’s not your fault, even if they seem to be arguing about you. Parents have a lot of things to deal with and this can be very stressful sometimes. There are lots of things that they could be arguing about, but it is not your fault that they are arguing.

I argue with my parents all the time, what can I do?
Arguing can make you feel angry and upset, and your parents could well be feeling like this too. Try to talk to your parents calmly. If you listen to what they have to say, they are more likely to listen to you. If you feel that you are starting to get angry then try to ask to talk later. Remember you can always talk to ChildLine about how you are feeling and can even practice with us what you want to say.

How can ChildLine help me if I’m having problems with my family?

If you are worried about anything to do with your family or you are having problems you can:
You can:
• Send an email to a ChildLine counsellor
• Write a letter to Sam
• Call ChildLine on 0800 1111
• Speak to a counsellor online through a 1-2-1 chat

Why do some people feel lonely?
Someone who feels lonely may not actually be alone. They might be around lots of other people and still feel like they are on their own. 

Some of the reasons that people can feel lonely are that they:

·        are shy and find it hard to make friends

·        feel like they don’t fit in and feel different from other people around them

·        are being abused or bullied by someone

·        have a disability or illness

·        are coming to terms with their sexuality

·        have lost someone they were close to

·        don’t get on with their family, or don’t see them very often.

How can I stop feeling so lonely?
If you are feeling alone or sad it’s important not to keep it all to yourself. Talking about how you feel to someone you trust will help them to understand the problem. This will help them to support you to find ways to feel less lonely. 

It can also help you work out why you feel lonely. Do you feel lonely because you don’t have any friends - or is it part of another problem? 

Loneliness can make us feel down. If you think you feel like this, you don’t have to suffer on your own.

How can ChildLine help me if I’m feeling lonely?
If you are worried about anything to do with your family or you are having problems you can:
• Send an email to a ChildLine counsellor
• Write a letter to Sam
• Call ChildLine on 0800 1111
• Speak to a counsellor online through a 1-2-1 chat

Computers and mobile phones help us all to share things but they can also make it easier for bullies and other people who might want to hurt you or get close to you.

What is Social Networking?
Social Networking sites are websites where you can create a profile all about yourself and contact other people. You can upload photos, music and videos. On some sites you can also chat to other people on forums. You need to be over 13 years old to sign up for Facebook and lots of social networking sites. Having an account when you're under 13 and pretending to be older can put you in danger.

Popular social networking websites include MySpace, Facebook, Habbo Hotel, and Twitter but there are lots of others.

How do I create a safe profile?
When you're online, you won't always know who you're chatting to.
Most social networking sites let you change the security settings on your profile, so it can only seen by people that you have allowed. They also let you to choose who you are friends with. Here are some tips to help you stay safe:

Never use your real name.

Never tell anyone any personal things about yourself or your family.

Never give out your address or phone number.

Instead of posting a photo of you, you could use a picture you like or a photo of your favourite band instead.

Don't post any photos or videos that you wouldn't be happy for your parents or teacher to see. Once they are up online they can be copied and posted in other places where you can't get rid of them.
 
Keep your passwords private and don't tell anyone, not even your best friend.

To report suspicious behaviour online, and to learn more about keeping yourself safe online, visit www.thinkuknow.co.uk

How can ChildLine help me if I’m having problems because of something that happened online?

If you are worried about anything that has happened online you can:

• Send an email to a ChildLine counsellor
• Write a letter to Sam
• Call ChildLine on 0800 1111
• Speak to a counsellor online through a 1-2-1 chat