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Autism

Autism is a condition that affects how someone learns, communicates and builds relationships with other people. If someone has autism, they will have it for their entire life and it will affect how they live and how they relate to what goes on around them.

James Hobley: Living with autism

James Hobley: Living with autism

James Hobley: Living with autism

Dancer James Hobley talks about how he discovered his talent for dancing, his hopes for the future and what it's like living with autism.

Transcript

Before I started dancing, I wasn't really anything. I was in my own little world I guess running around the house on my tip toes, in splints to help me walk. Autism is like a big learning difficulty, I didn't understand what was really going on, out of that world. Autism affects me socially. Interacting with people, it was, it was very hard, because everybody else, obviously, was making normal conversation and progress. Making friends is that warmth of normal that I get attracted to every time and just want to be, or experience, but I've never really experienced that.

I went to a special school and the people there all had special needs and I knew I really wanted to go to a mainstream school but kids called me names. I went to a special school and the people there all had special needs and I knew I really wanted to go to a mainstream school but kids called me names - really, really horrible names that I'm not going to mention. One day, a boy, he threw lots of paint all over me, acrylic paint. The bullying at the time, it was hard to hide. I did hide it. I always wanted to be normal.

Dancing was the beginning of my new life. The feeling of when I competed against somebody that I thought was normal the possibility that I could be good at something was sort of one in a million. I just really loved the idea of being good at something for the first time in my life. My mum wanted me to apply for 'Britain's got Talent' and I thought it was quite a good idea and I got the audition. Being on TV, it's an amazing experience.

We are normal, but we're normal in a different way to other kids. You've just got to remember that when you're at a mainstream school, getting bullied or something it's not your fault and you are normal but other kids may not understand that. Autistic people, they find it hard to go out the house. You know it's the mental awareness and especially to go out to the town and order fish and chips or pizza or anything, it's very hard. The confidence to just go into a shop and ask for something, never mind having the money or not.

I love dancing and I really wanted to pursue my dream of dance. The second I go on the dance floor, it's sort of like a different persona it's, you have to be very confident with your dancing and what you're doing. It's helped me with, not just my social confidence; I've grown leaps and bounds in my academic work. I started to read and write at school, started to make lots of progress and I came home actually spelling out, my mum says, three letter words and I was communicating a lot more, so it was a big break for me, dancing. You know, over these years I've gained so much confidence, so I'm very grateful. Before I started dancing, you know, I didn't really think about the future at all. When I started dancing, I just started like five, six days a week. To be focused all of the time, it takes hard determination but I've applied what autism has given me.

When I started dancing, I just started like five, six days a week. To be focused all of the time, it takes hard determination but I've applied what autism has given me Autism, in a way has sort of helped me because I didn't have any distractions. The other boys, they'll be watching TV and have girlfriends and have friends round at the house or whatever and they were like, "oh well I can't be bothered to go to dance today". The experiences I've had [Presenters]: "Hello James, nice to meet you" I've made quite a big impact because no normal person would have had these experiences that I've had because, obviously I've been in 'Britain's Got Talent', 'Got To Dance' and so many other things. I'm really grateful and lucky that I've had those experiences because it's just opened my eyes to what else is out there for even autistic people. It's just, there's so much opportunity out there for anybody and everybody and I mean, you just have to, you know, grab the bull by the horns and you just have to get out there I guess. You have to push yourself at what you do.

Do, whatever you do, often. It builds up over time, block by block.I just can't wait to think how I'll be in nine years time. I'm just amazed at how much I've progressed. 

 
 
 
 
 

Boy wearing a hoodie with lurred people in the backgroundWhat is it like to have autism?
Autism affects not only the person with the condition, but also their families and friends. It can be difficult to understand what autism is, and this can make it harder for people with autism, and the people in their lives, to know how to cope.

Autism often affects people in different ways. It is called a ‘spectrum’ condition, as people with autism may have similar problems but might be affected in different ways. People with severe autism may need a great deal of care and support. More able people with a different type of autism, such as Asperger syndrome, might be able to cope with most things quite well.

People with autism might:

  • find it hard to understand what other people are thinking
  • find it hard to tell other people how they themselves are feeling
  • find it difficult to know what to say, or how to act, when meeting new people, which can make it hard for them to make friends
  • become obsessed with certain things and might be upset when changes happen
  • be really good at things, for example, they may be good at remembering things or learning new skills.

What causes autism?
No one knows what causes autism, but we do know that autism is not caused by bad parenting. Autism can be genetic, which means that more than one person in a family can have it and it can be passed from parents to children.

More is being learned about autism, and this is helping us to understand how people with autism can be helped and supported.

I have just been diagnosed with autism, what does this mean?
Finding out that you have autism can leave you feeling worried and confused. You may feel that you have lots of questions that you want to ask, particularly about what might happen and if there will be any treatment, help or support. It is important that you feel able to talk about your feelings. Talking to your doctor, or whoever made your diagnosis, may help you to understand things better.

You might be concerned that you life is going to change in some way, or that you might have to change schools. Again, it is important to talk to someone who can answer your questions. Even if they don’t know all of the answers, talking about your feelings can really help.

Many people with autism are able to carry on with their lives in pretty much the same way as before they were diagnosed. In fact, things can be easier since it often becomes possible to get the support and help that is needed.

Getting a diagnosis of autism or Asperger syndrome might actually help to put you mind at rest, because it can help you to understand why things have been happening and why you have felt a certain way.

If you want to talk about anything to do with autism, you can always talk to ChildLine. You can contact us by phone on 0800 1111 or online.

  • What should I do if I’m being bullied because I have autism?

    Bullies often pick on people because they are ‘different’. If you have autism, this can make you appear ‘different’ and so you might be more likely to be bullied. You might find it difficult to understand why people act in a certain way, and this can make you vulnerable.

    The kinds of bullying you experience may be the same as someone without autism who is being bullied, such as name-calling, being made fun of, hitting, kicking and being left out of things.  Bullying is always wrong and you shouldn’t have to put up with it.

    It might be difficult to think of ways to stop what is happening on your own. If you can, talk to someone you trust about what is happening. If you are being bullied at school, your teacher should be able to help and schools all have bullying policies to make sure they stop bulling from happening. You could also talk to your parents, another family member or another adult you trust and feel comfortable with. 

    If you don’t feel that you can talk to anyone, you can always talk to ChildLine.

  • What is it like to have a sibling or a friend with autism?

    If you have a sibling with autism, you may feel that they get more attention than you, or that they are allowed to get away with things. You might worry about them and feel that you have to look after them and also help to care for your brother and sister. There may be extra pressure for everyone at home, particularly for your parents.

    Having a sibling with autism can sometimes be hard, but many young people tell us how much they love they brother or sister and how they want to help them.

  • How can I support my brother, sister or friend who has autism?

    Wanting to understand more about how autism affects your brother, sister or friend is the first step towards helping them. Everyone with autism is different and knowing what things they find hard and what things they enjoy really helps.

    In many ways, your brother, sister or your friend are just like you, and there will be things that you enjoy doing together. Spending time and having fun with your brother, sister or friend will help them not to feel left out. You could also help them with schoolwork and homework, and do things around the house together. It is also important that you have time to do the things that you enjoy.

    Sometimes you might feel embarrassed when your brother, sister or friend does or says things in front of other people. Helping others to understand about what autism is, can be another way of supporting people with autism.

    Remember that there may be things that your brother sister and friend are good at, such as spelling or remembering facts. Letting them help you can help them to feel better about themselves.

  • What can I do if my brother, sister or friend with autism, is being bullied?

    It can be upsetting to see your friend, sister or brother being bullied, and it can make you feel angry. The best way to help is to know what you can do to help, and also  what not to do.

    Let your brother, sister or friend know that you are aware of what is happening. Reassure them that you want to help. Because of the way autism affects some people, they may feel confused about what is happening. They may not understand that you want to help, so try not to be too upset about this.

    Speak to an adult who can help as soon as possible. This might be your parents, teacher or another adult whom you trust.

    Don’t be tempted to try to take the bullies on yourself; you might put yourself in danger if you try to do this. Bullying is difficult to sort out yourself. Ask for help as soon as you can.

    Remember that you can talk to ChildLine about what is happening, either by phone on 0800 1111 or online.

  • What should I do when someone with autism is having a ‘meltdown’?

    ‘Meltdowns’ can be a common event for some people with autism and their families and friends. Some people describe meltdowns as very bad temper tantrums, but there are some important differences between a temper tantrum and a meltdown.

    During a meltdown, a person with autism will often seem to lose all sense of control, and in many cases they will not even be able to speak. They may hit themselves, throw objects or break things.

    When a person with autism is having a meltdown, they are often just as scared as anyone who is watching them. It is important to think about your own safety, so do not try to grab hold of them - this could put you at risk. Try to speak calmly and kindly to them, even when they are screaming and shouting. If you can, get an adult to help.

    Eventually, the meltdown will pass, leaving the person feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. Again, speak calmly and kindly to reassure them.

    Being out in public with your brother, sister and friend when they have a meltdown can be embarrassing. It might help to keep in mind that this another way in which they are affected by their condition and that they can’t help it. 

Other places to get help and advice about Autism

Autism website

BBC Ouch!

Young Minds

Want to talk about autism?

You can get support and advice from other young people about autism on the ChildLine message boards.

Visit the learning difficulties message board

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