Living in care

Some young people living in care are bullied by other young people living with them. Being bullied by other people you live with is especially tough because you don’t have anywhere you can escape to. The bullying might involve name calling, physical bullying like hitting or kicking, taking or breaking personal belongings, or being left out of activities.

Young people might also be bullied by other people because they live in care.  They can be picked on for being different or because their family are not able to look after them. Find out about bullying and how you can get help if it is happening to you.

Relationships with your family can be difficult and you might miss or be worried about your parents or brothers and sisters. Contact with your family might be upsetting or if you don’t see your family, this can also be very hard.

Moving from one place of care to another can be unsettling and leave you feeling insecure. Some young people have to get used to different places to live and often different schools. Homework and exams can suffer and it can be difficult to make friends.

If you've experienced any of these problems try to talk to someone about them. Social workers, advocates and independent review officers will be used to sorting out these kinds of issues and can help you change the things that are making you unhappy.

There are lots of reasons why someone might live in care. They could live in care because their parents are unable to look after them due to illness or family problems, which could include abuse or neglect. They might also live in care because the courts or Children’s Panel (if they live in Scotland) feel that their home is not a safe place for them to live or because they may be placing themselves or others in significant danger. Someone might live in care just for a short time, or it might be more permanent.

The way Social Services and courts work in England, Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland can be different. 

If you live in England, Wales and Northern Ireland:

A care order would be made which means that Social Services share the responsibility of you with your parents, whenever possible. You will get a social worker who will make decisions for you, such as where you will live, however you should also have a say in what happens. The social worker should also talk to your parent or carers about what they want too, if this is possible.

Care orders are reviewed every six months and end when you are 18 years old, unless a court stops the order before then. Social Services can still help and support you up to the age of 21 with things such as helping you find somewhere to live. They may also help you with your education and training up to the age of 24.

If you live in Scotland:

In Scotland the Children’s Panel may make a supervision order stating that you are to live in care.  This may also be for a short period of time or might
be more permanent and these are reviewed at least once a year.

If a decision has been made that your care will be met under a supervision order, you will receive support from a social worker. Your social worker should talk to you about what you want and they will also talk to your parents or carers, if this is possible. The supervision order may state where you are to live and who you are allowed to have contact with.

Children’s Hearings are arranged to discuss your circumstances and you would usually attend these as they want to hear your views to help them make the best decision for you.  A supervision order ends when you are 18, unless the Children’s Hearing decides to end this before then.  However, Social Services can still support you after this age, similar to how a care order works in England.

Sometimes you can go and live with someone else in your family like an aunt, uncle or grandparent. If this is not possible, then you may be placed in a foster home or a childrens’ home. If you have brothers and sisters and they also need to live away from home then whenever possible social services will try to find somewhere for you to stay together. Young people who live in care are sometimes called ‘looked after children’.

Foster homes are private homes where you live as part of a family. Care homes/residential units are often houses in the community which have residential workers who support you to live there.  The number of children living in the same place as you can vary during the time you stay there.

You may not stay in one place all the time you are in care. Many young people move several times which can cause problems with moving schools, not having a stable home and having get used to a new home each time.

Everyone’s experience of living in care can be different. Some young people prefer to be living in care than in their family home but others can find living in care more difficult. Some things which may be good for you to know are that:

•   You are allowed to take some of your personal items with you when you move into care. These might help you to feel more comfortable in your new living environment. You can speak to your social worker about what things you would like to take with you.

•   In most cases you should still be able to see your friends and family, unless it is unsafe or not in your best interests. You might not be able to see your friends and family as much as you would like to and this can be difficult. Usually your social worker will carry out checks if you want to stay overnight with friends, to help to check if this is a safe place for you to stay.

•   You may have to move school when you move into care. This tends to happen if you move to a different area which would make it difficult for you to get to your school. Sometimes you will still be able to stay at the same school, especially if you remain in your local area.

Children and young people living in care have a Social worker.  If you are in this situation, a social worker will talk through things with you like where you will live and where you will go to school and what kind of contact you will have with your family and relatives. They will also meet with you regularly while you are in care to check that everything is ok and to answer any questions you might have.  If you have a social worker, it's your right to be able to ask to see them and speak to them on your own.

When you move into a care placement, you can feel a mixture of emotions.  These can include feeling scared or stressed because you do not know the people who you will be staying with, or isolated if you have to move to a different area. You can also feel a loss of control. You might feel sad or unsettled about moving out of the family home, especially if you and your brothers/sisters have had to move to different placements. Moving into care can also make some young people feel a loss of their identity. Something which can help with this is to do some life story work with your social worker or with someone you feel comfortable with.

You might also feel happy about moving into care.  It might help you feel more secure, safe and supported, especially if you have moved away from abusive families or carers.  You may settle into your new living environment well and prefer living with your new carers.

If you feel your social worker is not listening to you, or you just find it hard to talk to them, advocacy services provide independent support for young people in care, and can help you complain if things are not right for you or if you feel you are being treated unfairly. For more information about advocacy services you can contact

Voice (www.voiceyp.org or 0808 800 5792)
National Youth Advocacy Service (www.nyas.net or 0800 61 61 01)
Whocares? (Scotland) (www.whocaresscotland.org or 0141 226 4446).

The NSPCC (which ChildLine is part of), also offers a Face to Face support service for young people who are living in care. They will work with you to find ways to sort out the things that are worrying you. It’s free, friendly, confidential and available in a number of areas across the country.

If you are unhappy living in care or need someone to talk to you can always speak to ChildLine on 0800 1111 or 1-2-1 chat.

Adoption is when you legally become part of a new family and they take responsibility for looking after you. Adoption would only be an option if you were unable to continue living with your natural family and you have lived with the foster family for some time. Your social worker will talk to you about whether you would like to be adopted.

This is a question that young people often ask if they are unhappy at home. The reality is that going into care is a huge step to make and is only offered by social services if there is no other way to make sure you are safe and properly looked after in your home.

Social services will always first look at what other kinds of support and/or living arrangements are available before considering care as an option for you. Your wishes must be taken into account, but it has to be the social services decision whether you go into care or not. If you feel that your home is not safe, or that you are not being looked after properly at home, talk to an adult you can trust. You may also feel able to talk to a teacher, nurse or a doctor.

You can find out more about living in care and the process of going into care at the Who Cares Trust website.

Most people leave care when they become 18 as this is when the law sees you as an adult.  You will be offered advice and support when it is time to leave care and help in making decisions.  You will make some decisions such as:

• where are going to live. For instance that could be supported accommodation, rented accommodation, etc
• if you are going to work or stay in education
• what support you will need from social services.

The local authority will continue to give you support after you leave care, so don’t worry that you will be left on your own. They can help you with living independently and with learning about what financial support you can claim such as housing benefit or jobseeker's allowance 

For more details about what happens when you leave care see the Direct Gov website about leaving care or the Who Cares Trust website.

There could be many different reasons why your friend is in care, and it is likely to be a very confusing time for them. You might have noticed that there are lots of different agencies or people involved in your friend’s life. They are there to help make decisions about what they think is best or safest for your friend.

Your friend might be feeling that a lot of things in their life are suddenly changing. They might be looking for reassurance that they are still the same person that they were before they went into care. By showing your friend that you are still there for them, and that your friendship is still very important to you, it’s a way of supporting them and showing that not everything in their life is changing. If your friend is moving away, you might like to think of ways you can keep in touch and be there for each other.

Try to remember that with so much going on, your friend’s moods might be up and down and they might not feel like doing the fun things you used to do This could be difficult for both of you. Try and be patient with each other, and remember that you can talk to someone if you are worried about anything.

You could help your friend to think about who else they could talk to, such as their social worker. You could mention to your friend that they can contact ChildLine to talk about what is happening for them and how they are feeling. There are counsellors available to listen to them and give advice and support.