Suicide

                 
                            Suicide is when someone feels so desperate and sad that they take their own life. Suicidal thoughts are the thoughts in your head when you are thinking you want to die, or are thinking about killing yourself.

Why am I feeling or thinking this way?

Feelings of despair, isolation and hopelessness can affect anyone, at any age, at any time. When these feelings become too much to bear, thoughts of suicide can come into your head and can seem like the only solution to your problems.

There is no simple explanation for these thoughts. Some people feel that if they commit suicide then the pain will stop and the bad feelings will go away. Some people think that others around them will know how much they are hurting if they commit suicide. Sometimes people think that they are so worthless that they don’t deserve to live or there is no point in living.

What causes suicidal thoughts?

Sometimes it can be hard to understand what causes these thoughts. Things such as abuse, bullying, relationships where you don’t feel loved or understood, bereavement, or a violent incident or trauma can be so difficult to make sense of that they cause us pain. When that pain becomes unbearable it can trigger suicidal thoughts. Sometimes people have been feeling these things for so long that they don’t know where they came from.

Even if you don’t know where they came from, there is always a trigger and it is not your fault that you are feeling this way.

When you feel suicidal, you lose hope that there is any other option. But there is always hope, even if you can’t see it at the time. Things do get better if you get support; you just have to give yourself some time.

I feel like I want to kill myself, how can you help me?

ChildLine can help you talk about how you feel. We will always listen to you and we care about you. We can help you to look at what you would like to change in your life so that things can get better, and support you to find a way of making those changes happen.

We can also help you plan how to get other support if you want it, including emergency help if your life is in danger. You can speak to a counsellor by calling free on 0800 1111 or through 1-2-1 chat online (like msn).

No matter how bad things have become things will get better in time. ChildLine will stay with you to support you until things begin to change. You are very important to us and we don’t want you to go through this on your own. Find out more about what contacting ChildLine is like and how we can help.

Is Self-harm the same as being suicidal?

Self-harm is when people set out to hurt themselves deliberately. Self-harm can include cutting, burning, bruising or poisoning, but does not usually mean that someone wants to take their own life. If they are self-harming because they want to die then they are suicidal and will need extra help.
Some self-harm can be dangerous even if you are not feeling suicidal. For example taking an overdose can be very dangerous and can sometimes kill you, even if you don’t mean to kill yourself. If you or a friend has self-harmed and you think it might be dangerous it’s important to get help straight away by calling 999.
Find out more information and advice about Self-harm.
How do I face people when they know I’ve tried to self-harm?

It’s important not to feel guilty or ashamed if you have tried to self-harm. People self-harm because they are trying to deal with difficult feelings. Difficult feelings are not your fault, but instead are a response to difficult things that go on around you.
If people know you have tried to self-harm, it’s likely that they will be worried that you are feeling low and upset, and want to help you. Sometimes they don’t know how to support you or what to say. If they react this way, it is not your fault. This does not mean that they are not worried or do not care. It might be better to find someone who does understand about self-harm to begin with and try talking to them.

Remember, our counsellors are always here if you need to talk. They understand the sorts of problems you might be worried about and aren’t easily shocked by what you tell them.
Read more about contacting ChildLine and what happens when you call us.
How do I support a friend with suicidal thoughts?

It’s really great that you want to support your friend when they feel suicidal. Being someone in their life that cares is the best way to help your friend to feel better. It’s important to remember though that you are not responsible for stopping them from hurting themselves. If things get frightening when you are with them, it’s important to get support and not just deal with it on your own. If your friend has a plan or has done something to seriously hurt themselves, get help straight away by calling 999 for emergency assistance.
If your friend is not at immediate risk, then the best thing you can do is spend time listening to their story. Suicidal thoughts come from sad and upsetting feelings. It’s important to let your friend know that you understand these feelings and why they might be feeling this way, but say you don’t want them to react to this by committing suicide.
Feeling hopeless is one of the biggest factors in making suicidal feelings worse. Give hope to your friend by suggesting future plans (small or big) that you can do together. Tell them they are important to you and why. Be honest and think carefully what you like about them and why you consider them a good friend.
Feeling helpless can also make suicidal feelings worse. Get your friend to take small steps to build a routine of positive things (e.g. a regular bike ride, a weekly night at the cinema). Encourage them to seek professional help for the causes of their suicidal thoughts. You could tell them about ChildLine. ChildLine is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. ChildLine counsellors receive lots of calls from young people in the same situation, and they are trained to help.
Find out the different ways you or your friend can receive support through ChildLine.
I have lost a parent or friend to suicide…

If a parent, sibling or friend has taken their own life, it can be extremely upsetting for everyone around them. Some young people feel confused and do not understand why this has happened. Others feel guilty and wonder if there’s anything that they could have said or done to prevent it. Others feel angry at what happened and even some embarrassment. These are all natural reactions but a loved one’s suicide is not the result of anything you did or didn’t do.

The important thing to remember is that you are not alone and there are lots of people who want to support you. You might want to look at the bereavement message board to read advice from other people who may have lost a loved one to suicide.