Family relationships

If you have a difficult relationship with your parents, it can be hard to know how to fix it. Talking to your parents is a really important step in maintaining a good relationship and making a difficult one better.  You could try starting to talk to them about little things, like telling them something about your day, or asking them how their day was. This can help you connect more and make a tense relationship a little easier.  It will also help your parents feel connected to you and that they can be there for you if you go through a difficult time.

The ChildLine message boards are a good place to find out how other people feel about their family, the difficulties they have and also things that have worked for them. They can help you see that you are not alone and other people can be going through difficult times with their families too.

It’s really hard when two people decide to end a relationship, especially when they have children together.  There are lots of reasons why people decide to split up. Some couples decide to separate so that they can have time and space to work out their problems, or because they are finding it hard to get on with each other.

It’s important to remember that you haven’t done anything to make your parents split up and you shouldn’t blame yourself. This is something that has been decided by your parents and they should let you know that this is what is happening. Talking to them about how you are feeling will help them understand, and they will be able to reassure you about what is happening. Find out more information and advice about separation and divorce.

It can be normal for there to be some problems adjusting to a stepfamily. Learning to cope with stepparents, stepbrothers and stepsisters can be a difficult and lonely experience. There can be pressure to be a 'perfect family', but it takes time to get to know one another.

If you are finding it difficult getting on with your new family, you don't have to worry about it on your own. You could try talking to your parents about how you feel. If you feel that you can't talk to them, you can talk to ChildLine. Get more help and advice about stepfamilies.

Your parents or carers should be looking after you. It's their job to keep you safe and that may not be happening if they are drinking.  It could mean that they act differently or not treat you the same way after they have drunk alcohol.  If you don’t like what happens or if you feel they may have a problem with drinking, then you should talk to someone you trust so that they can get some help. This can be the first step to changing the way things are.  If you ever need to talk to someone you can always contact ChildLine. Get more help and advice about parents and alcohol.

Domestic abuse or violence can happen in any family and in all kinds of homes. Even if the violence is not aimed at you, you can get hurt too. You might be in the same or next room when the violence is going on and this can be extremely distressing. The violence could also be aimed at you too.

Domestic violence can mean different things. These include:

- Physical abuse - hurting someone by hitting, pushing or kicking
- Emotional abuse - saying things on purpose to frighten the other person or putting them down to make them feel bad. For example, constantly saying that someone is stupid or ugly
- Controlling behaviour - preventing someone by force from acting freely. This can include keeping them from seeing relatives and friends, not letting them have a job or not letting them spend money.

Telling someone, like a teacher or trusted adult about what is happening can help make it stop. You can always talk to ChildLine and we can help.
Find out more about domestic violence.

Abuse can mean a lot of different things such as neglect, physical, emotional or sexual abuse - it's not always easy to know if you or someone you know is being abused. But the important thing to remember is that no one has the right to hurt you or make you do anything that feels wrong.

If you or someone you know is being abused in any way, then the most important thing to do is talk to someone about it. You can contact ChildLine anytime. We will listen to you; we will believe you and we can help you.

If you are feeling unhappy or are being hurt by someone, running away will not make it better. You will have different problems if you run away and are on the streets.

Remember it is very important that you are safe. If you feel that you need something to change you could start by telling an adult you trust or ChildLine about how you are feeling. Read more about homelessness and running away.

In most cases you should still be able to see your friends and family, unless it is unsafe or not in your best interests. You might not be able to see your friends and family as much as you would like to and this can be difficult.  Usually your social worker will be able to talk to you about this. They can do things like carrying out checks if you want to stay overnight with friends, to help to make sure this is a safe place for you to stay.
Find more help and advice about living in care.

A forced marriage is one where people are made to get married against their will. It may also involve physical or emotional abuse. Get more help and advice about forced marriage.

If you are worried about anything to do with your family or you are having problems, you can get in contact with ChildLine at anytime. We're here for you no matter what your worry is – big or small.