Bullying

Bullying can happen to anybody, anywhere - it is not your fault. Whether you are being bullied yourself, are worried about a friend or maybe you are the bully, there are ways to make it stop.

Tell a friend
Your mates can support you, even if you’re not ready to talk about it in detail.

Tell a parent or guardian
They should be there for you, even if you’re not ready to take it to your teachers.

Tell a teacher
The teachers in your school have a duty to look after you. Ask about the anti-bullying policy at your school.

Contact ChildLine
You can contact ChildLine for free on 0800 1111, anytime. Our friendly counsellors are here to listen and support you and can advise you on how you can stop the bullying in your particular situation. Find out more about contacting ChildLine

Find a way to stay safe at school
No-one should be too scared to go into school. You have a right to be there. Stay away from your bullies and stay in a group of friends when you don’t feel safe.

Walk home with someone or get a lift
If bullying happens on the way home it can be hard to avoid. Walking with someone, varying your route or getting a lift can help.

Ask your mates to look out for you
Your friends can be there for you, even if you don’t want to talk about the details to them. They can support you to tell someone who could help make it stop.

Don’t fight back
You could get in trouble or get hurt if you fight back against bullies. There’s no shame in not fighting back.

Don’t reply to an abusive message
Replying to a message from a bully can encourage the bullies and end up upsetting you more.

Block the bully from contacting you
Some phones will allow you to block numbers, and you can block, delete or unfriend other users on many social networking sites. Stopping them from contacting you could help reduce the amount of stress you feel.

Don’t go along with what they want
Going along with what bullies want will give them the message that bullying is working.

Find out about your school’s anti-bullying policy
It’s good to know what your school has promised to do in the event of bullying. There might be something in the policy that could help you.

Keep a record of the bullying
Saving texts, emails and messages or writing down when someone has bullied you in person can be a useful way to keep track of what has happened and will help when you are ready to report the bullying.

Be there for your friend
Sometimes your friend might not want to talk, but being there to listen whenever they are ready is important.

Help take their mind off it
Hanging out, going for a walk, watching a film or playing games together are good ways to take someone’s mind off their problems for a little while.

Support your friend to help them speak out about bullying
It can be very daunting to open up to an adult about your problems. Going with a friend if they’re feeling nervous is a great way to support them.

Help your friend stay safe at school
Staying in a group is a good way to avoid bullies during break times.

Walk home with your friend or sit with them on the bus
It can be hard to avoid bullying on the way to or from school. Walking with your friend and sitting in a group on the bus could put the bullies off.

Speak to ChildLine about what is happening
You can talk to ChildLine, whatever your worry – even if you are worried about something that’s happening to someone else.

Tell your friend about ChildLine
Make sure your friend knows that they can contact ChildLine any time, day or night, online or by phone. It’s free and confidentialmeaning nobody else needs to know.

Find out about your school’s anti-bullying policy
It’s good to know what your school has promised to do in the event of bullying. There might be something in the policy that could help your friend.

You can be bullied by other young people who live near you, or take part in activities outside of school with you, like sports or music. You can be bullied by people you have never met through your mobile phone or on the internet.

Members of your family can also bully you. If an adult bullies a child or young person, this is called physical or emotional abuse and you must tell someone about it.

Admit to yourself that you are a bully
The first step in stopping bullying is admitting that what you are doing is hurting another person. When you know that, you can figure out how to stop.

Say sorry to the people you are bullying
It takes a great deal of courage to admit what you are doing is wrong, and apologise sincerely.

Think about what is making you bully someone
Is there something happening in your life which is making you upset, frustrated or angry?

Stop yourself from sending an abusive message
Sending a message, writing a post, a tweet, an email or a text which is designed to hurt someone else is bullying. Even if you’ve written the message out, you can delete it.

Stop yourself from sharing or commenting on an abusive post or message
Even a comment like LOL or a smiley face on an abusive post can make the other person feel much worse, like they’re being ganged up on.

Find a new way to gain people’s respect
Find a way to gain people's genuine respect. This could be as simple as resolving to answer more questions in lessons. You could practise your favourite sport and become fitter or work on a talent, like singing, dance or drawing.

Speak to ChildLine
You might worry that no-one will help you if you admit to bullying. We won't judge you or put you down - ChildLine are here to listen to you, no matter what your worry is.

Your teachers have a duty to look after you. If they or any other adult working in the school is being mean to you, this is not fair. You have a right not to be made to feel stupid, be called names or punished unfairly. Talk to another teacher who you trust, perhaps your form teacher, and tell them what is happening.

No-one has the right to stop you from going to school. Your school has a duty to protect you from bullying and keep you safe. Try taking a quiet moment to talk to someone you trust and tell them about the problem. That could be a teacher or someone else you feel comfortable talking to. They can get in touch with your school and work out a way to help you.

If the bullying is happening on your way to or from school there are things you can do to stop this:

• Plan a different route to school which avoids the areas it happens
• Keep to well lit and busy areas to avoid being alone at any time
• Take a safety alarm with you – they are not expensive and create a loud noise which can attract help and put bullies off
• Walk with friends, or older brothers and sisters if possible
• If you are being bullied on a bus, sit downstairs rather than on the top deck and tell the driver about what is happening.  If it’s a school bus then you can talk to your teacher – they are responsible for you while on a school bus and can make the bullying stop
• Keep a diary of what is happening with dates and times.

If the people bullying you go to the same school as you, it is a good idea to let the school know what is happening, no matter where or when it is they are bullying you.  They may not be able to take action about incidents that happen in the evenings or at weekends, but they can make sure it doesn’t happen in school. If the bullies are being violent towards you, you need to talk to your parents or carers about involving the police who can help you.

If you don’t feel that you can talk to your parents or carers, you can call ChildLine on 0800 1111. You don’t have to put up with this on your own.

If you are being bullied at home by one of your siblings, you should try to talk to your parents or carers about what is happening.  They need to know what is going on so they can help make it stop.  If you don’t feel like you can talk to a parent or carer, you can talk to ChildLine.

If you are being bullied by your parents you could try talking to someone who is close to you.  Do you have another family member such as aunt or uncle that you could speak to?  If you don’t have another family member to talk to,  you could speak to your teacher and tell them what is happening to you. 

If you don’t feel that you have anyone you can talk to, you can always call ChildLine on 0800 1111. You don’t have to put up with this on your own.

When a person or a group of people uses the internet, mobile phones, online games or any other kind of digital technology to threaten, tease, upset or humiliate someone else, this is called cyber bullying.

There are a number of steps you can take to stop this form of bullying through blocking email addresses or temporary making your Facebook account inactive.
Find out more about cyber bullying and how to make it stop

If you are receiving nasty or threatening texts or calls on your mobile, tell an adult like a parent or teacher. They can help you put a stop to this. If it doesn't stop you need to tell the police.

All UK mobile companies are used to dealing with nuisance calls and will have people you can call who can help you deal with this. In the meantime:

• Don't reply to any nasty messages you receive.
• Keep the messages that you have been sent so you can show someone.
• Don't answer any calls that are from a withheld number, or from a number
you don't know.
• Change your mobile number and only give your new number out to close friends.
• If the problem is serious, tell the police or you can call us and we can help.

Mobile phone operators can't bar a particular number from contacting another phone, but you can do this on some handsets. Check your phone's user guide to see if yours can. They can only take action about the bully's account such as blocking it, if the police are involved. Find out more about being bullied through your mobile.

‘Sexting’ is when someone sends or is sent sexually explicit pictures or videos on their mobile phone. You might be encouraged to take pictures of yourself naked or film yourself doing things that you may not be happy about and send them to people. There may also be pressure on you to look at explicit messages that people have been sent, and to encourage other people to get involved.

It’s important to only do what you feel comfortable with. Remember that once you have sent a picture or video to someone else or put it up online, you have no control about where it will go and who will see it. Before sending anything, take a moment to think how you would feel if it ended up on YouTube or on Facebook. If you wouldn’t want anyone else to see it, don’t send it.

If you are worried about anything to do with sexting or being bullied anywhere, you can talk to ChildLine on 0800 1111. Get information and advice about sexting

Homophobic
Bullying someone because they are a different sexual orientation from you. Saying that someone is ‘gay’ or using words like ‘gay’ as an insult.

Racist
Treating people differently because of their race, the colour of their skin, where they are from or what they believe in and using offensive words that describe race to bully people.

Sexist
Treating people differently based on whether they are female or male. For example, thinking that boys are better than girls.

Disabilist
Treating someone differently if they are disabled, or using offensive language to describe people who are disabled and using this to bully people.

Lookist
Bullying someone because they look different such as if they have ginger hair or wear glasses.

Classist
Deciding that someone is from a particular social class – usually if they are seen as being rich or poor - and bullying them because of this. For example, calling somebody a, 'chav' or, 'snob'.

Words might not physically hurt you, but they can stay with you for a long time and make you feel bad. Using words and language to bully people is a form of emotional abuse.

If you are being called names, it can make you feel scared, anxious, lonely and sad. In extreme cases, being bullied might make some young people want to withdraw and may cause problems with school and family relationships. It may also lead to young people self-harming or finding other ways to let their feelings out. Find out more about emotional abuse

Information and advice:
- Cyber bullying
- Sexting
- Bullying through a mobile phone (text bullying)
- Emotional abuse
- Physical abuse
- Contacting ChildLine

Watch a video on:
- Bullying: Words can hurt
- Bullying: JLS Marvin's school days
- Emotional abuse
- Sexting: Exposed
- Physical abuse: Adam's story
- Contacting ChildLine

Chat to other young people or see what others have written:
- Bullying message board
- Cyber bullying message board
- Emotional abuse message board

Read current letters or ask Sam a question about:
- Bullying